Up and down

[sammyphoenix]

I really hate the days where my emotions are all over the place in a single day. I was really tired when I got up this morning for the gym, dragging the entire time. Because I was dragging so bad I decided it would be a good idea to get a coffee to help me through the day. Well that sucker was gone in less than an hour (I tend to take my time with drinks and often have to reheat my coffees or teas). In effect I was pretty wired and very perky in the morning, which was a good thing because I had a lot of work to do between working on my own projects and training two other people. It also helped that one of my male coworkers kind of dissed that undergraduate who has been giving me a bit of grief saying that I had this air of perkiness about me (he also said I looked like a movie star with my short hair) and she seemed to be really tired and dragging. I'm terrible I'm sorry, but that made me happy because she is always too perky, or something I don't know.

I hit some anxiety during my second half. I am not confident with my ability to train and teach others. I just feel so incompetent at times, and hate having the answer of "I don't know" when they ask questions I hadn't really thought about.

I also had my first meeting one-on-one meeting with my boss, so I was kind of scared. He is a very nice guy and he has given me the opportunity to have a job when my last boss, a collaborator of his, let me go. It is also very intimidating to be working under someone who is very well known it his field of work, seriously, Google the plant pathogen we focus on and he will be somewhere on the first few hits. My work hasn't been going to well, so I was really worried about disappointing him already. Thing is, after I showed him my resent results and we discussed the most likely culprit causing my issues, he starts talking about other proteins he wants me to express, and one of them he want to start testing the crystal version again because other researchers have not been able to get it to bind like someone in his lab had previously (this same person was the one who started my training into this strange new world of proteins). I can't remember why, but he did bring up that one of the things he had liked about me at our previous location was my ability to problem solve. So it feels pretty good that he at least has confidence in me and he thinks that I will become really good at my job with time.

My mood dropped a bit when I checked on an plushy I had ordered. The maker said she was going to send it out Monday, but had gotten busy in the week and never got to the PO. So sad. I had hoped it would be here before Saturday. It is the anniversary gift Hubby and I were sharing. We had plans to take the plushy on our anniversary adventure. Now there will be no plushy on Saturday. I understand that people get busy and plushy makers have lives too, I'm just sad that I thought he was on his way and he wasn't. But there will be other adventures to take him on! Just not this one. We are still really excited to get him, he is just so cute! and her plushies look so well made from what I have seen in her own tweets and others who share pictures of ones she has made. (Yay! I cheered myself up again, just thinking of getting him eventually ^^)

When I got home I finally sat down to send an email to my grandmother. We received an envelope from her on Tuesday that had several gift cards for Hubby and me. I'm really bad at contacting people from my family with all the drama that happened during my wedding, so I worry what peoples intentions are when they contact me. But ever since my Dad passed I have been trying to give her more of a chance because she really seem to regret letting my mom talk her out of missing being apart of my life, and she wasn't really apart of my life again thanks to my mom and her dislike for my Dad's family.