(no subject)

[sammyphoenix]

I wanted to let you know that I am getting married this weekend. You were right when you told me that you need to make your own happiness, but that doesn't change my feeling that I want a relationship with my only child. I love you and miss you. I would love to talk to you or at lease get an e-mail to see how you and
[B] are doing, and how you like your new job. [Sam] never doubt that I love you.

I don't really know how to respond to this. I figured she would is break up or marry the guy she has been with for the past two years. I don't want to go into a rant about how I had to hold my tongue when she spend most of her time with me during my graduation talking about him... But honestly I don't care. The woman wouldn't get to know my hubby before we were married so I have no interest in getting to know her new guy (not that I have been invited to meet him, I'm sure she would offerer if we were in contact). I don't care that she is getting remarried, just like she didn't care about when I got married (well, I guess she cared, just not in a positive way).

I'm not sure if I ever said "I need to make my own happiness" but I knew that if I wanted to be happy she isn't the one to be around or talk to. I do often want to send her updates on what I'm doing, but I just fear that that will cause the loop of her wanting me to call and talk and visit, which I don't want to do. I just want to feel that my mom actually cares for me and my well being. I know she loves me, but it was mostly conditional when I was around her. I don't know if she would be proud of my work, because I am in science, but I don't think it is the awesome ground breaking science she wanted me to go into, I was to be famous and well known and make lots of money, and support her, blah, blah, blah.

Ech. I have to go back to my conference. I hope it will distract my brain a bit. I'm glad I have the conference this weekend so I don't have to worry about getting to much bashing that I don't contact her right away if I do contact her, which I probably won't...

Comments

[dragondancer5150]

Ugh . . . *HUGGLES!*

[musha168]

Ick...... *hugs*