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Tomorrow is going to be interesting. I’ve not seen my mom for seven years now. We’ve had our drama in the past and have tried off and on several times to reconnect. Usually it’s been some emails or messages to each other, keeping minimum contact. We always just end up falling off. One of us just stops the conversation and neither one of us ever picks it back up.
I think this will be the third time in the past fifteen that we are meeting in person. They never really went great.
I’m trying to go to this one with a bit of a different mindset. I still want some kind of mother daughter relationship, but I know it will always be a bit strained. I have to remember that this is the woman who disowned me twice in my life. The first, because I left my cell phone in my dorm room to charge while I socialized with my floor mates. The second, because I loved a guy she didn’t care for and got married against her wishes. So much drama, so much hurt. She could have changed some since the last time I saw her, but I can’t trust that she has. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she hasn’t really done anything to make me truly do so.
I’m trying this meet up on my own. Husband will drop by after two hours, see if we can’t break away by then. I really want to be able to leave on my own. Teller when time is up and I need to go. Im so passive with most people. I don’t know how to tell people I need them to stop talking so I can leave. She’s probably the main reason for it. But I want to do it. I want to be strong enough to tell her when things need to stop.
I think this will be the third time in the past fifteen that we are meeting in person. They never really went great.
I’m trying to go to this one with a bit of a different mindset. I still want some kind of mother daughter relationship, but I know it will always be a bit strained. I have to remember that this is the woman who disowned me twice in my life. The first, because I left my cell phone in my dorm room to charge while I socialized with my floor mates. The second, because I loved a guy she didn’t care for and got married against her wishes. So much drama, so much hurt. She could have changed some since the last time I saw her, but I can’t trust that she has. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she hasn’t really done anything to make me truly do so.
I’m trying this meet up on my own. Husband will drop by after two hours, see if we can’t break away by then. I really want to be able to leave on my own. Teller when time is up and I need to go. Im so passive with most people. I don’t know how to tell people I need them to stop talking so I can leave. She’s probably the main reason for it. But I want to do it. I want to be strong enough to tell her when things need to stop.
